From the category archives:

Parenting

Oops I did it again: the origins and importance of learning from experience

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by MLHeller on April 22, 2009

in 2009,Acting out,Childhood development,Empathy,Explicit memories,Feelings,General Archives,Human development,Implicit memories,Language, memory and thought,Parenting,Relationships,Unconscious processes

This column originally appeared in the Orange County Register.

America, in its relative youthfulness, still perceives itself as morally, politically and militarily invincible, devoid of the stabilizing historical context that might actually insure the retention of its truly consequential status. [click to continue…]

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I Just Can’t Live Without It

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by MLHeller on February 23, 2009

in 2009,Acting out,Anxiety, depression and mood,Childhood development,Food and love,General Archives,Human development,Impulse control,Parenting,Shopping and spending,Unconscious processes

This column originally appeared in the Orange County Register.

Much has been written lately about impulsive behavior, particularly excessive spending or shopping, as its problematic consequences have become increasingly obvious as our economy continues to implode. [click to continue…]

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Greedy for Love

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by MLHeller on September 18, 2008

in 2008,General Archives,Human development,Infant development,Mothers and babies,Parenting,Unconscious processes

This column originally appeared in the Orange County Register.

Greed is not a word used frequently any more.  Tending to be associated with quaintly prim eras and Victorian novels, the sooty world of Charles Dickens comes to mind with its pickpockets and severe judgments. [click to continue…]

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Aging: the coda to life’s mythic themes

by MLHeller on July 28, 2008

in 2008,Acting out,Aging,Death and dying,General Archives,Grief and loss,Human development,Mothers and babies,Parenting,Relationships,Unconscious processes

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This column originally appeared in the Orange County Register.

“He’s gotten completely paranoid and is speaking in vernacular I don’t recognize,” my friend explained slowly and evenly, though clearly in an anxious state.  “The psychiatrist put him on medication, and I don’t know why.  I think he’s having a bad reaction.” [click to continue…]

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Sadness and Mourning

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by MLHeller on June 1, 2008

in 2008,Anxiety, depression and mood,Childhood development,Death and dying,Empathy,False self - Real self,Feelings,General Archives,Grief and loss,Human development,Infant development,Language, memory and thought,Parenting,Preverbal body memories,Relationships,Shopping and spending,States of consciousness,Unconscious processes

This column originally appeared in the Orange County Register

A screenwriter friend gave me an article discussing the salutary aspects of sadness and the ways in which our contemporary culture tends to quickly erase it or prematurely foreclose upon its gritty psychological usefulness in a quest for perennial cheery happiness.  As if happiness were a concrete object one could hold instead of a transitory state of being, one of many, that links specific inner notations of experience with external ones. [click to continue…]

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The Importance of Mutuality in Relationships

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by MLHeller on March 28, 2008

in 2008,Childhood development,Food and love,General Archives,Human development,Infant development,Mothers and babies,Parenting,Relationships

A relationship, by design, is a two-person field.  Actually more if you consider all the people inhabiting your mind.  With mom, dad and your third grade teacher with the quivering upper arms, it’s a pretty crowded place.  You are the unique product of all your relationships.  This internal constellation of characters forming your identity is an entire world. [click to continue…]

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